If I had to describe the last year in one word, I’d pick POWERFUL.
Spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally…POWERFUL.
Last year I spent a few minutes of my birthday sitting on a patio in Hawaii reflecting about the number thirty and what it meant. No part of me was anxious or scared to leave my twenties behind. I celebrated that I was no longer the same person I was a year before, and that each year gives us the opportunity to grow and make positive changes. Why look back when you can look ahead, right?!
I had no idea of the ways the year ahead would test me and challenge me.
While the happy moments of year 30 certainly stand out, it was a year of suffering and growth. Watching my best friend bury her stillborn son was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to witness. I remember going through the funeral line and telling her this wasn’t a moment we were supposed to have, me giving her my sympathy for the loss of her son. No parent should ever outlive their child. It left me with many questions and of course a broken heart for someone who is more like a family member than a friend.
Watching her go through this tragedy gave me strength in my trials to come. It’s all about perspective, and her painful journey forever changed mine.
Other defining moments include allowing myself to be 100% vulnerable while giving all power to God during Elijah’s surgeries and recovery process. Literally on my knees asking for God to allow me to bring my baby home. Praying with our family and the surgeon in that dark family lounge. Leaning on John in the waiting room as we waited to see our son time after time. Riding in the elevator and seeing other families in the pediatric units and knowing we were the lucky ones. Seeing God in our friends, family, and community members. It brings me to tears to type. It moved me. It changed me.
I’ve never been more thankful, and I’ve never had a better relationship with God. I know these two are dependent on one another.
I’m excited to see how God uses me in the year ahead, and I pray for listening ears to hear His call.